Planning

I'm still in denial.  At 30 weeks and 2 days I am not mentally prepared to have a baby.  It STILL doesn't feel real.  Sure, every time I try to stand up or roll over in bed I'm reminded by this ginormous belly but it's only the physical.  At work I keep planning for spring fundraising.  At home I keep thinking about how I'm going to do more this year--like New Year's Resolution planning.  I'm going to run more marathons, take the girls more places, travel more.  Um, probably not.

When we had Isabelle I wasn't ready to say "this is my last pregnancy".  Well, I'm definitely ready now.  I do NOT enjoy being pregnant.  It's uncomfortable.  I miss wine.  I miss sleeping on my back.  I'm oh so tired of doctor appointments and blood work.  Well, kiddo, you're it!  Our last one.  That's OK with me.  I'm ready to be done having kids. 

People ask me all the time if this one was a surprise.  First--that's a horribly rude question.  None of your business.  Second--I have yet to plan a child.  None of them come according to plan.  This one is no different.  I learned a long time ago--the hard way--that all of my plans are irrelevant.  What's that old saying?  Man plans, God laughs.  Well, it's true.  So, even though I say I'm not having any more, He may have something else entirely to say about it. 

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