God's Heart

I know a thing or two about long distance relationships.  In a lot of ways, I'm still living in one.  When Nick and I were dating after college and he'd gone home to San Diego and I moved to Kansas City, we wrote a lot of letters (ok, I wrote a lot of letters.  He wrote a few.).  We talked on the phone every night (remember free nights and weekends??) but I still wrote him a letter every day.  Just about what was going on.  What I was thinking.  How I was feeling.  None of it was anything monumental (at least I don't think so) but those were the in-betweens.  In between visits.  In between trips.  We were separated by thousands of miles and hours of flight time.  One of us made the trip to see the other about once every three months.

And in those moments, we celebrated!  We enjoyed EVERY SECOND together.  Even just being in the same room--the same state--the same time zone!  It didn't matter what we did.  For those brief days, we were like a "normal" dating couple.  We went out.  We stayed in.  We watched movies.  We explored the city.  We got together with friends.  We spent time alone.  We were reunited.  And it was glorious.  But it didn't last.  At least not for a long time.  Even after we got married, we still lived apart a lot (even now, after 15 years).

God gave me an image this morning as I was looking up at the finally sunny sky and noticing how much I'd missed it.  Letters are as close as we'll ever get to God on this side of life.  Think about that--it's like we're in a long-distance relationship with Him.  Like He wrote us one giant love letter that we carry around all day and read bits and pieces of when we really miss Him.  He sends us flowers and gifts and sometimes even a conversation.  But it's never in person. Not like it will be one day.

I think about the longing I have for my husband when he's away every month and how excited I am to pick him up from the airport or train station or whatever every two weeks.  I put on my best outfit, make sure my makeup and hair are perfect, brush my teeth a little longer, put on his favorite perfume--I'm excited to see him.  Sometimes so excited I can't stand it.

Is that how God feels? When we near the end of life, does He get excited that finally, FINALLY, the waiting is over and we can be near enough to touch again?  I hope so.

As this morning, 2 of my dear friends lay their beautiful child to rest, I hope that God was so desperate to hold Bethany again that He just had to call her home.  It doesn't make it easier to say goodbye.  It doesn't make the rest of life without her any easier.  But it does remind me just how BIG God's heart must be because He feels that way about ALL of us.  How it must be near bursting!

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