The Definition of ME

I went to the dentist yesterday.  A cavity.  Humph.  Haven't had one of those since...well I can't remember when.  It's never pleasant going to the dentist and I'm sure they all realize that everyone hates them (not them personally but in the same way dogs hate the vet.  Anyway...).  As I was sitting in the chair waiting for the novocain to take effect, my dentist strikes up a conversation. 

"How's the family?"  We all go to the same dentist, so she really does know everyone.  "Kids all staying healthy?"

"Oh yes.  Only one ear infection so far this year and I can't really blame that on the weather--just being a baby."

"He must be almost one now, right?"

"Yep.  One about two weeks ago."

"Wow.  And your husband is a pilot right?"

"Yep."

"Now, how does that work?  He's gone a few days and then home a few?"

We chat about the logistics of managing all of that.  How great it is that he flies stuff and not people--cuts down on the germs.  How he gets to see different parts of the world and the interesting things he's carried in the planes--a Bentley, camels, a cat who delivered a littler of kittens.  And then she gets to work on my teeth, so the conversation ends.

It occurred to me later that she asked about my kids and my husband but other than the "hi, how are you?" that is customary when you meet someone, she never once asked about me.  I was dressed in work clothes.  Why didn't she ask what I did? 

This sort of thing happens to me a lot (or at least I often notice it).  Ever since Ivy was born, everyone around me suddenly saw me as a mother and a wife more than they saw me.  Why is that?  Does it happen to other women?  Other mothers?  Especially those who work outside the home?  I wonder...

What do I do?  I prepare the next generation of our workforce to be successful, satisfied adults.  I help give them hope that whatever circumstances they find themselves in as a young person, they can take control and change their trajectory.  They can choose what to do and who to be. 

What I do is pretty amazing.  I'm not saying it's more amazing than being a mom (my kids are pretty awesome) or more amazing than being a 747 pilot (total cool factor).  But I am defined by what I do, not by what others around me do.

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