6710 Grand

I hate running. I do.  I don't apologize for that.  It is, however, my cardio of choice.  Mostly because I can buy a treadmill and not have to think too much about it.  I run 3 miles a day, 5 days a week.  In my peak, I ran 3.5 miles a day  But post baby 4 I feel good about where I am.  I have a book on running for women.  It's...interesting.  It talks about slow runs.  You know, the ones where you maybe run at a 10 minute mile or a bit faster.  Um, what???  I run a 12 minute mile...and I'm struggling!  I can barely make it!  I feel like I'm sprinting for 40 minutes!  What do you MEAN this is a "jog"????  Did I mention that I hate running? So, why do I do it?  Why do I torture myself?  I honestly don't know.  I've tried buying elliptical machines and I can never find one that doesn't hurt my feet.  I enjoy walking but it never feels like enough intensity to make a difference....

Productivity is a luxury when you're quarantined with 4 children.  I try to stay focused and efficient and, in reality, if you were to isolate the time I actually spend working (on my job, that is), I probably am pretty productive for the time I get to spend.  Problem is, it's not focused time and it's not big chunks of time.  It's frustrating to be sure, so when I got an email about a 15 minute productivity webinar (free!) I was all in!  This could be great!  I could get a tip or two that would help me.  At the appointed time, I logged into the Zoom meeting and eagerly awaited.  I was spending valuable nap time on this so I had high hopes. I was disappointed.  Really disappointed. It started out promising, like most webinars.  Separate what you spend your time on into four buckets: Important and urgent important, not urgent urgent, not important not urgent not important Big reveal--spend your time on buckets 1 and 2.  U...

Monday.    Quarantine day 45…I think.   It feels like day 68,532.   I’ve been awake since 5am but lack the will to get out of bed.   It’s now 7am and Isabelle has crawled under my covers.   I kick the cat off of me and whisper in her ear “ready to get up?”.   She is and we push the blankets aside.   I used to get up early.   I still have alarms set.   But the hour comes and I ask myself why bother?   It will all still be there in a few hours.   So I try and try to sleep in.   It just ends up feeling like wasted time. Bebo gets dressed while I put on gym clothes.   She puts on whatever she feels like wearing.   Sometimes it’s a fancy church dress.   Sometimes it’s her Supergirl outfit.   We go downstairs and start the coffee just as Ike is waking up.   Iris is eating breakfast.   “Can I have breakfast mom?” Bebo asks.   I tell her I’ll get up Baby Ike first and they can eat toget...

In this new "normal" of working from home with four kids I am adjusting.  I still get up and run every morning.  I still get dressed in normal clothes (have never been the yoga pants type).  I still fix my hair and makeup.  I'm trying to keep all of my self care items in place.  But really, it's not just for self care.  It's for Zoom. Yes Zoom. Zoom meetings (or Microsoft Teams or Skype or whatever) are now a part of my every day and that means being presentable from the neck up. No problem.  Until you add a one-year-old and a traveling husband. Nick is considered essential so he still goes to work which means he travels internationally.  Such travel means digging out our Korea days survival kit and connecting multiple times a day on Skype.  The Skype song is like Pavlov for Ike.  He hears it and immediately thinks "Dada!" and comes running.  I'd say he's right about 90% of the time. He cries and whines until I pick him up and...

I've been trying to post for days.  Something keeps getting in the way.  A grant deadline is moved up to get funding out to non-profits faster (good!).  An unexpected sunny day means working outside (good!).  Ike falling asleep eating his lunch and nap time comes early (not really good, but definitely funny!).  Iris needs help getting some strange app that is suddenly required and my tablet is the only place she can get it (not good.)  I'm sidetracked by the latest report on COVID-19 (not good.)  But finally now, it's quiet and peaceful and I have sometime to write down what I'm thinking and feeling...and I find I just don't know where to start.  At the start (for me) I was annoyed with 2 weeks at home with my kids but tried to look on the bright side and actually though I'd get a lot of reading done (um, no.).  But now two weeks has stretched into 6 (at least) and I'm not only missing my usual birthday hoopla but also Easter, spring break,...

I'm guilty...I think.  I didn't do it on purpose.  I didn't mean  to do it.  But I think I did it.  This whole quarantine thing is uncharted territory.  I'm still figuring out how to navigate it.  I did the weekly shopping last week, trying to only buy what I normally would--salad fixings, lunches for the kids, cereal, chicken, milk--basics.  I only went to Aldi, my usual grocery store.  I don't normally buy coffee cream and whipped cream there but they had it and we were low, so I bought some.  The lines were long to check out but it was an orderly process.  Mission accomplished--we'd eat for another week. Then we went to Costco. No toilet paper, hand sanitizer or Lysol wipes.  But they did have coffee and whipped cream--in 3 packs.  So I bought one of each.  Now I had four of everything.  Is that wrong??  I mean, these items aren't in short supply and let's be honest, I use a LOT in a single week....

Quarantine.  It's kind of a scary word.  But here we are.  Holed up at home as this nasty virus makes it's way across the world.  I hope these 2 weeks isolated work.  I hope Nick makes it home.  I hope I don't get sick.  I hope my family doesn't get sick.  I hope no one else in this world gets sick.  But someone will.  It's been hard to explain to the kids why we can go outside but friends can't come over.  Why we can't go shopping and why we aren't going to work or school.  On many levels, the big girls get it but in a lot of ways, social distancing seems like overreacting...until Ike started not feeling like himself.  A low grade fever.  But no coughing and no shortness of breath.  He's pulling at his ears.  That's probably it--an ear infection.  He's jut had one and maybe the round of amoxicillin just didn't do the trick.  Even if it is the dreaded virus, kids seem to weather the storm just fi...

I know a thing or two about long distance relationships.  In a lot of ways, I'm still living in one.  When Nick and I were dating after college and he'd gone home to San Diego and I moved to Kansas City, we wrote a lot of letters (ok, I wrote a lot of letters.  He wrote a few.).  We talked on the phone every night (remember free nights and weekends??) but I still wrote him a letter every day.  Just about what was going on.  What I was thinking.  How I was feeling.  None of it was anything monumental (at least I don't think so) but those were the in-betweens.  In between visits.  In between trips.  We were separated by thousands of miles and hours of flight time.  One of us made the trip to see the other about once every three months. And in those moments, we celebrated!  We enjoyed EVERY SECOND together.  Even just being in the same room--the same state--the same time zone!  It didn't matter what we did.  ...

I was reading a white paper the other day on “Breakthrough Thinking”. It was talking about goal setting in a way that makes you uncomfortable. If your goal seems achievable, set a higher one. That kind of thing. It admitted that the process wasn’t going to be easy and that “nothing worth doing was.” Easy that is. Nothing worth doing is easy. I wholeheartedly disagree. I can think of lots of things that are easy and most definitely worth doing. Here’s a short list: 1. Loving my family (not always but most of the time) 2. Making a GREAT cup of coffee. 3. Reading a book (finding the time, well, that’s harder) 4. Saying “I love you” to my husband. 5. Kissing him—when he’s around, that is. Super easy. Sometimes too easy. We do have four children. Ahem. 6. Being nice to people. 7. Being polite. 8. Smiling—even when I’m not happy. Just turn up those corners! 9. Stopping—I think of this mostly when I’m running. When I’ve reached ...

I went to the dentist yesterday.  A cavity.  Humph.  Haven't had one of those since...well I can't remember when.  It's never pleasant going to the dentist and I'm sure they all realize that everyone hates them (not them personally  but in the same way dogs hate the vet.  Anyway...).  As I was sitting in the chair waiting for the novocain to take effect, my dentist strikes up a conversation.  "How's the family?"  We all go to the same dentist, so she really does know everyone.  "Kids all staying healthy?" "Oh yes.  Only one ear infection so far this year and I can't really blame that on the weather--just being a baby." "He must be almost one now, right?" "Yep.  One about two weeks ago." "Wow.  And your husband is a pilot right?" "Yep." "Now, how does that work?  He's gone a few days and then home a few?" We chat about the logistics of managing all of that.  How gr...

I'm reading a book about the wife of Alexander Hamilton.  It's written like a novel, told in the first person.  It's amazing to me how stories of historical figures are pieced together from letters and diaries.  It makes me wonder how the tales of today's figures will be told.  Will it be like the books of our current president, told from those who hate him or like other recent presidents, told from their own perspective, knowing that others will read it, trying to make themselves understood?  Will things from both sides be omitted or embellished to ensure a certain spin?  Can we assume that Eliza Hamilton did not expect her letters or diaries to be ready by others and that, therefore, she could be honest?  Will today's heros and villians have their stories pieced together from social media?  Will we be limited to tweets and emojies to try to understand history?  Oh, I hope not!  I used to write letters--daily.  I wrote to Nick ev...

I try to be nice to telemarketers.  It's hard calling people you don't know and asking them for something.  I've done it before--in fact, I do it all the time.  It's part of my job.  So, when someone calls me to ask me to donate or to sell me something or asks me to take a survey, I try to be nice.  It doesn't always work out well, but I try.  I also love surveys.  I try to fill them out one there's one on a receipt or I'm asked to answer a few questions after visiting a website.  Political surveys are the same and I actually kind of like those.  So when I got one such call last week, I answered his questions.  I always imagine the people on the other end of the phone are surprised when I don't hang up.  My view is, it's their job.  They may not like it but it's their job.  But I also don't like being taken advantage of and I don't like it when my information is sold for marketing purposes.  So, when this gentleman ...

There's a movie the kids used to watch called Monsters Vs. Aliens  or, in kid-speak, Monsters 'n Ellies.  It's your typical animated silliness but in the beginning of the movie, the main character, Susan, is talking to her fiance, Derek, who is a news anchor.  Derek has been planning their honeymoon to Paris and comes to her just before the wedding with great news.  He's taking her somewhere better than Paris! Really???  What could be better than Paris??? "Fresno!" "Fresno!"  She echos.  "In what world is Fresno better than Paris, Derek?" Well Derek got a job offer in Fresno and they'd have to move there right after the wedding.  No Paris.  The rest of the movie isn't important but sometimes I find myself worried about Fresno.  Not the actual Fresno but the symbol it represents here. Jesus said he came that we would have life and live it to the full.  The abundant life.  There are lots of books and sermons and such th...

So, I went to my doctor to get a check up.  My OBGYN says I need to get annual mammograms now because I'm high risk.  OK.  Fine.  My GP says I need a whole host of other blood tests for people "my age".  I found it hard not to remind him that I was clearly younger than him.  At 41, I don't feel old.  In fact, I feel great.  But what do I know? So I go to my doctor.  I tell him my family history.  I tell him my mom has metastatic breast cancer but that she's had it for six years and her scans look good.  I tell him my dad has high blood pressure but his heart is fine.  He has bad knees but that's more of a usage thing.  I tell him I have one copy of the factor 5 Lydon gene. Uh oh.  "Well, you're VERY high risk." Ok, I know. "Have you seen a hematologist?" Yes.  He seemed confused as to why I was there. "So, you're aware of the risks." Yes. "Do you have chest pains?" No. "Shortness of brea...

Church was my one our of peace each week.  It was the go go go of our lives that caused so much stress and on Sunday morning, I left the babies in the nursery and felt my arms lighten.  I could swing them, let them hang loose, raise them in the air--anything I wanted. It was the one place I could blend into the walls and no one really knew me.  That's what I really wanted.  To blend in.  To be one of the masses.  The "mega church" we attended was really huge--3,000 people came on Sunday mornings.  I sat in the same seat every week but never sat with the same people.  I never got to know anyone.  No one cared what I was wearing or whether or not I stood for the singing (I never did--I hate the singing.  I just like to listen.) or if I brought my coffee mug in with me. I looked forward to church in a way I hadn't in years.  It was an hour of peace, yes but also the only place I could go to ask for help from the One best able to pr...

Going back to work after maternity leave has been harder than I expected.  There are a lot of things making it so that weren’t present the last time I did this.  Not that it’s bad…just different.  Nick is gone for two weeks at a time (and then home for 2).  In retrospect, I picked the worst possible week to go back to work full time after being home for seven.  Hard is the wrong word--an incredible understatement.  It's impossible...but still I'm doing it.  I am Fred Flintstone surrounded by George Jetsons. As Fred, I am running—no, sprinting—along in my self-powered car while the world around me flies about.   I am running as fast as I can which is faster than humanly possible.   I’m getting by.   I’m keeping pace.   But then, it starts to rain.   So, now, I’m running and I’m wet.   A semi pulls in front of me and I’m saturated with the spray coming from its tires.   I can’t slow down to let it get ahead of me or t...

I love New Years.  I didn't realize how much really until a few years ago.  It's fun to have a fresh start--to clean out the old and simplify.  Tomorrow, everything starts over.  At least that's how it normally is.  This year, I have to wait for February for that.  I can't spend the day tomorrow putting away Christmas decor (I can't reach most of it and I can't lift the heavy bins we store it in) and hauling trash away.  I can't start a new exercise regime and I can't change up my diet.  So, this year I'm delaying New Years until April when (I hope) I have enough energy to start fresh!

It just might be the cutest thing she's ever said.  I took the girls shopping at the mall this afternoon.  After a week of Christmas vacation we were all feeling a little cooped up.  My parents sent the girls shopping money as a gift which meant I didn't have to say "no" to every silly thing they wanted to buy, which is always nice.  I can be the best mom ever for a little while.  We started with lunch.  It's never as much fun without Nick but we made the best of it.  To Macy's, their favorite store, after that.  No trip to the mall is complete without Starbucks, so that was next on our list.  I'm thrilled that they can make my favorite drinks in decaf and if they're not crazy busy, they're happy to accommodate my requests for blended chocolate milk with whip for the girls.  After we ordered our drinks and knowing it would be a few minutes (and OK, I'm 33 weeks pregnant) we sat at one of the tables.  Bebo climbed up into one o...

Linus is a strange cat.  We "rescued" him and his sister, Lucy, in 2011 when we lived in Phoenix.  Someone left them and two others in a pet carrier outside of our daycare.  In July.  With no food our water.  They weren't the friendliest of cats to say the least.  Fortunately, one of the moms worked for a veterinarian and she took them all with her to the office and had the doc look them over.  They were just kittens.  Severely malnourished, full of parasites and rather aggressive, they weren't exactly adoptable right away.  But the vet agreed to sterilize them, get them back to health and adopt them out.  We happily told them we would take any that were left--however many that happened to be.  Two of the four were taken rather quickly.  The other two took much longer to warm up to people but seemed to be much calmer when they were with each other.  We brought them home and turned them loose in our house.  They quic...

I love a good quotable movie.  We have so many as a family that regularly get quoted.  Even some that the girls have never seen but they've heard Nick or me say often enough become part of their regular cadre of phrases.  A perfect example is from the "best worst movie ever", The Room .  I have seen this movie only once and once is quite enough.  If you've seen it, you're familiar with the phrase "You're tearing me apart Lisa!".  If you haven't seen it, don't bother.  It's like The Rocky Horror Picture Show --just, why? Anyway, as children do, mine are constantly asking questions.  Most of them completely irrelevant to just about anything.  I get so tired of the questions.  We developed a way for me to say that I've had enough questions without them feeling like I was brushing their concerns aside.  After all, sometimes that questions were relevant.  I had simply run out of patience.  So, we agreed that when I'd had enou...