Phone Call

The phone rings.

“Please stay on the line for a message from your doctor.”

Sounds important, but I’ve just taken two telemarketing calls. Just in case, I hold on.

“This is a message from the Arizona Wellness Clinic for Women. We have a message for Robin Olson. At your convenience, please call 480—“

Crap! I need a pen. What was that number?

“Please have your social security number available. Once again, the number is 480—“

Ok, so I’ve been to the doctor lately and had tests run. This must be legit. I wonder what’s up. Why wouldn’t they just call me? Oh well. I hang up and dial the number.

“You have reached the Arizona Wellness Clinic for Women patient information line. Please enter your social security number now.”

I enter it.

“Thank you. To hear your message in English, please press one.”

I don’t even wait for the other options.

“Thank you. In order to replay your message, we need to make a recording of your full name. Please state your full name after the tone. Beep!”

“Robin Olson.”

“Thank you. Please stay on the line while we retrieve your message…This message is for Robin Olson. This is name of technician I’ve never hear of—we’ve gotten the test results for your blah blah blah tests. Everything was normal.”

That’s it? All of that to tell me I’m fine? Why didn’t they just call? I wonder how much that system costs…

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