Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Sleep Tight


Ivy's finally down. It took an hour of rocking and back patting but she's finally asleep in her bed. Now I can get into mine. Nick has been asleep for an hour now. It's almost 2am. I've brushed my teeth, washed my face and put on my night shirt. I slide silently beneath the covers and lay my head down. With my eyes closed, I listen for Nick's breathing. That's one. I listen for Ivy's.
I'm listening...
listening...
I don't hear it. Maybe I'm breathing too loudly. I hold my breath and listen.
Listening...
I still can't hear it.
'This is stupid,' I tell myself. 'She's fine.' But I still don't hear it. I'll hate myself if I find her lifeless in the morning. I get out of bed. It's completely dark, but I know exactly where she is. I lean my head down, less than an inch above hers and listen.
The faint hiss is there and her breath is warm on my cheek. I slide back into bed. Now I can sleep.

It's now 5am. I wake up for no reason at all. Jean-Claude is asleep on my legs and Oberon snoozes at my feet. They only sleep with me because Nick kicks them off the bed if they venture onto his side. Turning onto my back, I listen for Nick's breathing. It's slow and steady. That's one. I listen for Ivy's.
Listning...
listening...
I don't hear it. 'I heard her at 2:00. She's still fine.' But I can't sleep until I hear her. I push the cat off of my legs and get out of bed, lean my head down to hers and listen. It's there. In the moonlight, I can see her tiny chest rise and fall. Getting back into bed, Jean-Claude climbs back onto my legs and settles in. I can feel him purring away as if to say 'Everything's fine, you nut. Go to sleep.' I feel better knowing that my whole family is all in one spot, even if it means I go to sleep last and I never sleep alone.

2 comments:

Your Friend El said...

Listening/watching them in their sleep doesn't end. Jalen will be 3 in just a few hours. I still stare at his little chest to make sure it's moving. I kiss him while he sleeps and tell him how much "dada" loves him. Somehow I think it will slip into his subconscious if I tell him as he sleeps.

Look at your baby every chance you get. They grow up way too fast.

Tiggerr said...

Sweetie that's one of the many reasons you slept with me. I didn't want to let you out of my sight