A Better Normal
I've been trying to post for days. Something keeps getting in the way. A grant deadline is moved up to get funding out to non-profits faster (good!). An unexpected sunny day means working outside (good!). Ike falling asleep eating his lunch and nap time comes early (not really good, but definitely funny!). Iris needs help getting some strange app that is suddenly required and my tablet is the only place she can get it (not good.) I'm sidetracked by the latest report on COVID-19 (not good.)
But finally now, it's quiet and peaceful and I have sometime to write down what I'm thinking and feeling...and I find I just don't know where to start. At the start (for me) I was annoyed with 2 weeks at home with my kids but tried to look on the bright side and actually though I'd get a lot of reading done (um, no.). But now two weeks has stretched into 6 (at least) and I'm not only missing my usual birthday hoopla but also Easter, spring break, and our planned camping trip. These are inconvenient and disappointing to say the least.
But we're lucky. I can do my job from home (for now...). Nick's job is essential and therefore not at risk and he's pretty isolated with what he does. Our kids' school has done a great job keeping them learning (though I'm not crazy about all of this time they're on computers but there's just no alternative). We won't starve. We may run out of toilet paper but I have a Costco-sized box of baby wipes and tissues to fill the gap in an emergency. I won't run out of coffee...or its necessary accouterments. (Bourbon, well, that's something else altogether.)
We can stay home. We are staying home I'm baffled by those who can and aren't. They seem to me either selfish, uninformed or foolish. So far, all of the horror stories I've heard are about people I don't know, but it has not escaped me that it could change at any moment. Nick travels the world. He could get sick anywhere. My parents are in the high risk group. They could get sick.
But then there's all of this hatred. Hatred of ethic groups because their ancestry is from a place where this illness originated. What??? Hatred of politicians who made decisions someone doesn't agree with or made them too soon or too late. No one gets everything right all the time. Hatred of people who take this thing seriously ("they're overreacting!"). Hatred of a store for staying open (or not staying open). Hatred of school administrators ("they're keeping schools out too long and ruining senior year!" or "They didn't make this decision soon enough!") It's on both sides of most arguments and some of them are cruel--wishing this virus would claim the life of someone you disagree with or who believes differently than you or comes from a country you feel is responsible.
The people who say and think these things seem to be in a very loud minority and I'm sad for them. Sad that hatred and ignorance has invaded their hearts and minds. Sad that they can only see this as an opportunity to spread more hatred and ignorance.
I am sad for those who are the source of their hatred. Sad that they are reduced to a single characteristic, thought, belief or sound bite. Sad that if they are doubting their decisions that they are feeling a heavy weight of guilt. Sad that as fellow human beings, they might be hurting.
Because no matter what, every person who catches this virus is loved by someone else. And I have seen too many people forced by death to part with someone they love. That pain is far greater than any hatred.
I hope I am able to do better. I hope I am able to teach my children to do better. I hope the quieter majority finds ways to fill this world with love, support and humanity. I hope we all make it out of this soon (and ok). I hope the organization I work for (and so many others) survives--not just for my job and that of my co-workers but for the kids we are working so hard to help. I hope the closed up businesses stay strong. I hope that life will go back to normal, even if that normal is different.
I hope that normal is better. I hope that normal finds us all spending more time as a family. I hope it brings ingenuity and creativity to solve problems in new ways. I hope that normal leads us to lesser dependency on "things" and more on people and relationships. I hope that normal means we all eat healthier and exercise more. I hope it leads to less pollution and more philanthropy. I hope a better normal is possible.
And I REALLY hope I can find size 5 diapers this weekend.
But finally now, it's quiet and peaceful and I have sometime to write down what I'm thinking and feeling...and I find I just don't know where to start. At the start (for me) I was annoyed with 2 weeks at home with my kids but tried to look on the bright side and actually though I'd get a lot of reading done (um, no.). But now two weeks has stretched into 6 (at least) and I'm not only missing my usual birthday hoopla but also Easter, spring break, and our planned camping trip. These are inconvenient and disappointing to say the least.
But we're lucky. I can do my job from home (for now...). Nick's job is essential and therefore not at risk and he's pretty isolated with what he does. Our kids' school has done a great job keeping them learning (though I'm not crazy about all of this time they're on computers but there's just no alternative). We won't starve. We may run out of toilet paper but I have a Costco-sized box of baby wipes and tissues to fill the gap in an emergency. I won't run out of coffee...or its necessary accouterments. (Bourbon, well, that's something else altogether.)
We can stay home. We are staying home I'm baffled by those who can and aren't. They seem to me either selfish, uninformed or foolish. So far, all of the horror stories I've heard are about people I don't know, but it has not escaped me that it could change at any moment. Nick travels the world. He could get sick anywhere. My parents are in the high risk group. They could get sick.
But then there's all of this hatred. Hatred of ethic groups because their ancestry is from a place where this illness originated. What??? Hatred of politicians who made decisions someone doesn't agree with or made them too soon or too late. No one gets everything right all the time. Hatred of people who take this thing seriously ("they're overreacting!"). Hatred of a store for staying open (or not staying open). Hatred of school administrators ("they're keeping schools out too long and ruining senior year!" or "They didn't make this decision soon enough!") It's on both sides of most arguments and some of them are cruel--wishing this virus would claim the life of someone you disagree with or who believes differently than you or comes from a country you feel is responsible.
The people who say and think these things seem to be in a very loud minority and I'm sad for them. Sad that hatred and ignorance has invaded their hearts and minds. Sad that they can only see this as an opportunity to spread more hatred and ignorance.
I am sad for those who are the source of their hatred. Sad that they are reduced to a single characteristic, thought, belief or sound bite. Sad that if they are doubting their decisions that they are feeling a heavy weight of guilt. Sad that as fellow human beings, they might be hurting.
Because no matter what, every person who catches this virus is loved by someone else. And I have seen too many people forced by death to part with someone they love. That pain is far greater than any hatred.
I hope I am able to do better. I hope I am able to teach my children to do better. I hope the quieter majority finds ways to fill this world with love, support and humanity. I hope we all make it out of this soon (and ok). I hope the organization I work for (and so many others) survives--not just for my job and that of my co-workers but for the kids we are working so hard to help. I hope the closed up businesses stay strong. I hope that life will go back to normal, even if that normal is different.
I hope that normal is better. I hope that normal finds us all spending more time as a family. I hope it brings ingenuity and creativity to solve problems in new ways. I hope that normal leads us to lesser dependency on "things" and more on people and relationships. I hope that normal means we all eat healthier and exercise more. I hope it leads to less pollution and more philanthropy. I hope a better normal is possible.
And I REALLY hope I can find size 5 diapers this weekend.
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