The Secret to Weight Loss

I know the secret. I know... It so simple and yet so...contradictory. But it's true. I know it! The secret to the most often asked question particularly among women: What do I have to do to loose weight? Well, let me just tell you...because I KNOW!

Here it is. Get ready. It's not eat less or exercise more. It's way easier and less time consuming than that. What is it? I'm going to tell you...

GETTING PREGNANT!

Yes, that's it! Sorry men, you're out of luck. You'll have to stick with your higher metabolisms and ability to just eat more. I feel no sympathy for you. Yes, I have simply lost 12 pounds and 2 pants sizes in 22 weeks. People usually assume I have dreadful morning sickness. While I did for a while, it's long gone. Well, you must be taking better care of yourself. No, I don't think so. As you know, I'm obsessed with food altogether and have been for some time, not to mention a rigorous worker-outer. Those things have not changed. I still drink coffee, though I've given up on going black. I like to think that I'm just more efficient. It makes total sense if you think about it. My metabolism is way up. Sure I'm hungry all the time, but it takes a lot less to fill me up. I smell everything and sometimes that's enough to keep me from eating.

Really, I have no idea why I'm shrinking everywhere except my tummy. The doctor says she's not worried, so I'll just not question and be thankful. It can't last forever. At some point, I'm bound to gain. Until then, I'll just keep sporting my pre-pregnancy clothes that are now too big!

Comments

Tiggerr said…
I really hate you , you know. Not really. The minute I get pregnant, I start actually eating as opposed to forgetting to eat. My lunch gets packed by "you know who" with things like fruit and cheese and "gasp" healthy things and I immediately gain 5 pounds. Yes I know the baby isn't any bigger than a pencil eraser but I am 5 pounds heavier.

So sorry, your secret is out, you're just weird, (excuse me unique) but we love you anyway

Mom
6:55 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Easter

It’s Holy Week.  I remember being confused by so many pieces of Easter when I was young.  Why was it called Good Friday if Jesus died?  Wasn’t that BAD Friday?  Why did we eat so much fish?  Ick.  Why did it always seem to be a gloomy, rainy, week?  Did God do that on purpose?  How could Jesus ride into the city of Jerusalem with such fanfare on Sunday and be beaten so brutally just 6 days later?  As I’ve grown in my faith and age, I understand so much more.  When Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ played in theaters, I went to see it.  My sobs could hardly be heard over the sobs of others.  This wasn’t a movie where you munched on popcorn and sipped a soft drink.  This was a chore—a duty as a Christian to come face to face with the brutality endured by our Savior.  To come to terms with what He experienced so that I could, what?  Show up late to work with no excuse?  Watch movies with foul language?  ...
Read more

I just don't care

I'm reading this book, the Husband's Secret .  The jacket cover was so compelling!  A woman finds a letter addressed to her from her husband that she is to read in the event of his death...but he's still alive! Somehow, this letter affects not only her, but two other women that she barely knows.  Wow!  What a premise!  I have to read this! Um, no. Sadly, these characters are completely unsympathetic.  I don't like the woman who's daughter was murdered 20 years before.  I don't like the woman who's husband has left her because he's fallen in love with her cousin.  I don't mind the woman who found the letter but I don't really care about her either.  The only person I can identify with and feel defensive towards is the daughter-in-law.  She's a career woman who has a wonderful opportunity that will move her and her family from Australia to New York.  Her mother-in-law is angry because she's taking the grandson away.  Sorry, l...
Read more

The Wonderful World of Meat Substitutes

I didn’t become a vegetarian until a little over two years ago. I used to think it would be absolutely impossible for me to do—I’m in love with chicken! Can’t give that up. No way. Well, clearly, I did give it up (although so many non-vegetarians say things to me like “you eat chicken, right? Chicken’s a vegetable.” Um, no.). I often encounter someone that is unaware of my food lifestyle and after the initial shock wears off, they want to know if I miss meat. The answer is a resounding no. I hardly notice it at all. I won’t go into why I don’t eat meat (not now anyway). There are different types of vegetarians. I am what is known as a lacto-ovo vegetarian—I eat eggs and diary but nothing that used to crawl, swim, walk or fly. No chicken, no cow, no pig, no lamb, no fish. (Nick and I went to a restaurant today that basically wanted to know how you want your beef cooked, but did include two of what they called “Meatless sandwiches”. They included fried fish and baked fish....
Read more